Beautiful Existence

have you ever had to make a decision
where you just didn't know what to do?
a person's words told you one thing
but their actions showed the truth

my heart is in my stomach
my tears have all run dry
your emotions took a plummet
I knew it wasn't a lie

the depth you were admitting
inside your attention cries
all the help you could be getting
beyond my insufficient tries

a good friend tries to talk you out of it
a true friend sees beyond
you no longer find me fit
but at least you are not gone

your life is worth more than you realise
I couldn't force you to see through the lies
your existence is beautiful in my eyes
someday you'll experience life's highs<3

-SaraKate

All Consuming Pain

Pain takes over. If fills my bones, slows my life. My heart becomes a distant flutter, my eyelids become leaden weights. My thoughts become erratic, no desire to think. There's a deep, dull throb in my brain. The tension in my neck is consuming, it pulls me in and swallows me. Stillness brings pain. Movement brings pain. The muscles in my face are contracting, forcing my eyes to see. The muscles in my head are reacting, forcing me to release. Joints are creaking with movement, cries for me to hear their discomfort. The blood in my head is whooshing. The laughter in the library is increasing. The light from the window is beating. A pounding chorus of aches and pains, rising and falling, singing and screaming. The corners of my body are fighting to be heard. I hurt here! No, I hurt more over here! It slowly creeps up my chest, ribs creak. My breathing is weak. Shallow breaths hurt, deep breaths hurt more. Muscles bunch and release. Time to move again. It kisses and lures, seducing with all consuming distraction. Sharp inhale, random streak of pain through my stomach. Breathe in, breathe deep, release. Constant battle raging inside. Extra energy is always required. The energy to accomplish the task, and the energy to hold the pain at bay.