Progressive Posting!

Progressive Story! Every other sentence is from me, and then every other sentence is from Lyndsey ;) Purple is Sara.. Navy is Lyndsey... Hope you enjoy :3 haha!

Once upon a time. I had a tumor in my pinky toe. I went to the doctor and he washed it away. Just kidding, you can't wash tumors away. My sciaticas started acting up. So I bought a puppy. And he ate a baby bird. I cried just a little. But then I went and bought some ice cream. Too bad I'm lactose intolerant. So I had to travel to Africa to cure my allergy. There are lots of black people in Africa. I'm so tired of being white. So I decided to dye my skin with ink from the koo koo kachu beetle! That didn't work out too well, it made me a little splotchy. Kind of like American "tanning lotion". Which led me to the walmart pool isle. Except here in Africa it's just a mart, by a wall. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a snowman. Basically for me, it would be like committing suicide. But at least I would die healthy with a carrot in my nose. Well I presume normal people would die too, if they had a carrot stuck in their nose. That's when I decided to tunnel to China using spoons. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking at the time.. 100 years and 8934759726390 plastic spoons later, I am still digging. But at least I will have a good story to tell to my great grandchildren... if I ever make it out of Africa. Apparently people who can't have dairy products live A LOT longer that normal humans. I just really like sushi. I can smell it already.. oh wait, that's just me. I really need a bath. A milk bath. It's hot in here, I really wish I had a fan. And some legs.. did I mention I don't have legs?  A crab has become my favorite living creature. When I feel like I'm dreaming, he pinches me. I've learned to never mess with the claw. Haven't you ever seen Toy Story?! I don't like to scare children. But I'm feeling rather delusional at the moment.. if I had a child,  I would scare it. But I kind of feel like throwing up.. so I won't. Is that a mexican mariachi band I hear?! Or just the sound of policeman coming to arrest me? Eh, either way, I'm going to drink all of their milk. Because I'm secretly a cow. But SHHHMOOOO don't tell anyone! Just don't drink milk, because the parachuter's will fall on your head. I can taste the alien space beam now, peace n blessins!