Monday, April 15, 2013

You Might Be The Daughter Of A Taxidermist IF....

You Might Be The Daughter Of A Taxidermist IF....

..your boyfriends have an above average fear of your father, because he can not only shoot them- but then mount them and display them on a wall for future ridicule..

..you know that "stop-rot" has medical purposes, and your dad has joked about applying it to your infected ear piercing...

..there are taxidermy magazines around your office and living room..

.. you notice mounts in other people's houses and in restaurants, pick out all of the imperfections and think "my daddy can do it better"..

..your dad has ever asked where you got your eyeshadow from because the colors are the perfect shade for fish scales...

.. know the UPS man on a first name basis..

.. "stuffing a turkey" has double meaning in your house..

..you have ever helped skin an animal..

.. you've ever had to bandage daddy's scalpel oriented "boo-boos"..

..you've ever helped take close up pictures of an animal to use as a mounting reference..

..your dad can sew better than you can..

..when peroxide is on sale you stock up because daddy needs it to bleach skulls..

..you've ever played with glass eyeballs..

..you can traumatize people simply with the answer to "and what does your dad do for a living?"..

..you've ever helped play "tetris" with a mount(s) to get them into a box so they can be shipped..

..when the largest freezer your family owns has no "food" in it...

..when 9 out of 10 messages on the answering machine are "bubba" wanting to get something mounted..

..you've heard way too many dumb jokes from people about mounting people they don't like..

..when you hear the word "rack" the first thing you think of is antlers..

... you're proud that your dad is a sanitary, polite taxidermist who doesn't stink, still has all of his teeth, doesn't talk like he's from the back woods of Alabama, doesn't cape anything on your kitchen table and doesn't contaminate your house haha <3

This was over a year ago.. but still, you get the general idea.. deer ear to be added to form ;)


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